Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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