i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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