The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
