i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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