True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize