I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
