Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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