There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I think my vagina is haunted
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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