I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
