Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
