you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
