How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
