Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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