Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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