So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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