your room smells of hookers.
And success
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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