If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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