i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
