Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
