it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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