would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
