is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
