what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Randomize