I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
