I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
