is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Randomize
