she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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