It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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