he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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