Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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