I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
