Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
