I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
