It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
