Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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