Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
