What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
