I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
