You really coming over, don't trick.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
