I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
