ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
