i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
