thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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