God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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