Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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