I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
