she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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