found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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