I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
