would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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