i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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