He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
