Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
