Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
