69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
