Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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