So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
