I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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