Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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