As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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