Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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