i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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