I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Just puked most of my soul out..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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