so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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