i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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