I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
this hospital has no fireball
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize