I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
